https://chatgpt.com/share/671bfa55-ba34-8001-bf77-94a0943cd6dd: The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler
My Perfectionism Profile
- Procrastinator: These individuals delay tasks out of fear they won’t do them perfectly, creating a cycle of anxiety and avoidance.
- Intense: Intense perfectionists push themselves and others to their limits, driven by passion, but can burn out from overexertion.
The Effect of Perfectionism
- Overwhelmed, all the time.
- Waiting for Perfect Circumstances to move.
- Overreaching Goals
- Sends A Message To Others That Nothing is Ever Good Enough
- “This can create pressure and reduce the team’s sense of autonomy. This can also make it harder for them to take risks, learn from mistakes, or feel passionate about their work.”
Key Strategies, Personally:
- Practice Self-Compassion
How: Schafler emphasizes that perfectionists often struggle with self-criticism. To counter this, she recommends deliberately practicing self-compassion.
Exercise: A good start is to treat yourself the way you would treat a close friend. When you make a mistake or things don’t go as planned, acknowledge it with kindness rather than berating yourself. Write down a compassionate response you’d give to a friend going through a tough time. Compare it to how you would typically speak to yourself. Work on closing the gap between these two approaches.
- Create Space for Imperfection
How: Perfectionists often feel pressure to have everything in order. Schafler encourages deliberately embracing imperfection in small, safe ways to build tolerance for it. This helps relieve stress and rigidity.
Exercise:
- Pick one area of your life where you can relax your standards. For example, leave a room slightly untidy or give yourself a deadline for a project but submit it without re-reading it multiple times. Let yourself feel the discomfort, but notice that nothing catastrophic happens as a result.
- Block out 30 minutes to an hour each week for an activity that feels playful or creative to you—whether it’s doodling, cooking without a recipe, or dancing without choreography. The key is to engage in something without measuring the outcome.
3. Get comfortable with Unpredictability w/ Small Risks